28th Birthday from June 16, 2021

James would be 28 today.  Tammy and I refer to him as our “forever 17 year old” each time we share his story, so it’s hard to picture him at 28.  We found some pictures of James at Tammy’s parents’ house as we were clearing it out to sell, ranging from first grade through 10th grade.  As hard as it is to visualize him at 28, it’s tougher still to realize it’s been almost 11 years since we’ve seen his face and heard his voice.  Casting Crowns just released a new song entitled “Scars in Heaven.”  The lyrics include the two lines, “there’s not a day goes by that I don’t see you; you live on in the better parts of me.”  The words “you live on” speak to a legacy, a word we often use in sharing James’ story.  Whenever James was asked by his classmates what he wanted to do after graduation, they told us he would always reply, “All I want to do is make a difference in the lives of other people.”  We share that as part of his legacy. 

We recently listened to an Alistair Begg three part sermon on legacy.  He compared our lives to a picture, stating we will eventually create a picture which we will walk away and leave behind.  He said that will be the legacy we leave behind.  He focused on three points.  Number one, determine to live so as to be missed. Determine to live so as to be missed—but to be missed for the right things. To be missed for the right things.  Be missed for kind words, for good deeds, for short notes, for quick telephone calls, for good laughs.  The counselor from the alternative school was called to Valdosta High School the day James was recovered.  They told him to report to the Freshman Academy, which, he later told us, he felt would be a total waste of his time.  He didn’t think James, as a senior, would have had any interaction with or impact on Freshmen.  We ran into him several months after this and he shared that it was steady stream of students from the time he arrived in the office.  Freshmen students lined up outside of his office and would come in and share how James encouraged them, how he would pray for them.  They showed him their phones with text messages where James had shared words of encouragement or a Bible verse.  He said, “I left at the end of the day in awe of what James had done, saying how did I not know this kid?”  James lived a life to be missed. 

Alistair Begg continued, do not underestimate the impact of a solitary life lived to God’s glory. A solitary life lived to God’s glory. Don’t let the Evil One come and say to you, “Well, nobody really knows you, and you’re not really significant, and what you’re doing and where you’re going is largely irrelevant, and nobody really cares,” and so on.  James used Facebook to emphasize how he wanted to live, writing in July 2010, “Man, I want the devil to know I’ve been around.  I mean, he’s caused me enough trouble, he’s caused me enough grief.  When I leave this world I want the devil to say, “Thank God they put that man in the grave, he's caused the kingdom of Hell too much trouble already".”  Henry Varley shared a conversation with D. L. Moody when Varley said, “The world has yet to see what God can do with a man fully consecrated to Him.”  Moody replied, “With God’s help, I aim to be that man.”  Never underestimate the impact of a solitary life lived to God’s glory.  James didn’t. 

He closed the sermon with these words, “in prospect of leaving a legacy, determine that with God’s help you will seize the day, because we never know when we’ve just made our final deposit into the legacy that we’re leaving behind.”  James was in the office the day before he went missing.  We still don’t know why, but we’re pretty sure he didn’t attend a single one of his classes that day.  His good friend Jason Murphy was helping escort Australian exchange students for the day, and I think James thought it his civic duty to help escort since they were young females, and, of course, from Australia.  He happened to be in the office that afternoon and saw a young lady named Heike Miller sitting in the counselor’s office.  She was a year behind James in school.  He popped his head in the door and asked her what she was doing, and she told him, “I’m done.  I’m quitting school.”  She said the next thing she knew James picked her up and carried her into the hall and told her, “You’re not quitting anything.  If I have to stay here after school to keep you in the game I’ll do it, but you’re not giving up on anything.”  She said she finally agreed, but had no intention of returning to school.  She woke up to a text the next day saying James was missing.  She said she knew what she had to do.  She re-enrolled and did credit recovery.  She wrote on James Facebook page in May of 2012, “Well James, your motivation worked and you were right.  I was capable of staying in the game.  And thanks to you I am now a high school graduate instead of a high school dropout.  Thanks for being such a great friend, love you James, hope I made you proud.”  Seize the day.  Robin Williams’ character in the movie Dead Poets Society told his students, “Carpe Diem.  Seize the day boys.  Make your lives extraordinary.”  James seized every day, and determined to make a difference.  He knew the difference one life could make.  He closed The Clock is Ticking with the words, “If this just touches one person, I’ll have done my job.  Don’t stall.  Judgement is a heartbeat away.” 

We are blessed each year to present the James Eunice Legacy Scholarship to graduating seniors.  We seek to recognize young people making a difference in their community and who we think will continue to make a difference.  One of our recipients this year is a young man named Phillip Wilder.  We’ve known Phillip and his family for over 10 years, but that’s not why he received a scholarship.  Each applicant is required to write a little about what they learned about James after they’ve looked at his website.  Phillip wrote, “After visiting the James Eunice website, I learned that James accomplished his goal! The James Eunice fund has donated over $450,000 to the community and has awarded over 570 scholarships (and I bet those numbers are both higher now!) James' desire after graduating from high school was to make a difference in the lives of others and he has done just that! But not only did James' life benefit our community as well as people he never met, James touched my life personally. James met me because he was a friend of my sister. He didn't have to look in my direction, but he did. James invited my family to church (over and over again), he came to my football game when I was 8 years old and he told me he loved me. I felt like James was my friend too!”

I wrote about James on June 12, 2012 and how James was a friend to all and gave everyone a chance.  Phillip’s mom, Sara, wrote nine years ago, “Very Very True!!!! I have never known anyone who had no "criteria" when choosing friends before I met James. This was one of the best ways The Power and Love of Christ was seen in him. James was my friend, my husband's friend, rny daughter's friend and YES he was a very special friend to my sweet little boy in this picture:) we rniss hirn!!!”

I think that 28 would look good on James.  I often wonder, as Kenny Chesney sings, “Who you’d be today,” but I think he would be continuing to refine his legacy and still making a difference.  Drew Jubrera once said we talk about James as if he’s in the next room, and in a sense, we probably do.  I had the opportunity to share with Rotary a few months back, and I included a picture of Betty at the 38th Rescue Squadron at Moody Air Force Base.  They were a huge part of the search and recovery of James, and they have a shadow box in the hallway that includes a copy of The Clock is Ticking and pictures of James.  The picture I shared was of Tammy holding Betty who was reaching out to touch the shadow box.  I tried to say, “this is Betty learning a little about her Uncle James.”  I think I said, “This is Betty” and my voice broke.  It took me a few minutes to compose myself and finish.  As I mentioned the song lyrics at the beginning, “you live on in the better parts of me.”  Tammy is quick to say that the two people who are changed the most by James’ legacy and how he lived are the two of us.  The better parts of us. 

Back to Phillip.  I asked if I could share his essay and he said, “Of course.  It needs to be shared.”  This story has to be shared.  Phillip ended his essay with the following, “My mom recently shared a facebook post with me from January 21, 2011. In the post she shared that at school I was asked what superpower I would like to have and why. I told my teacher that the superpower I would like to have would be to go back into time and say goodbye to someone before he left. My teacher was alarmed and contacted my mom. My mom was able to share the story of James with my teacher. Later my teacher and her husband received "The Clock Is Ticking" t-shirts from my family. This is one example of how easily the life and legacy of James is shared. James' story is contagious and it has touched the lives of many. Yes, James has met his goal.” 

Determine to live so as to be missed.  Happy birthday James.  You are remembered and missed.  I love you and miss you. 

"What is Bluetooth" from January 16, 2020

We used to kid around about Bluetooth, and not knowing how it worked, and borrowed the phrase from someone, “What is Bluetooth?”  Last night as I got in my car and backed out of the driveway to pick up dinner for Lindsey, songs from my phone’s “Work and Travel” playlist should have been playing, somewhere around song 33 or 34.  Instead of that, though, I noticed Song #1 popped up.  It was a song I wasn’t that familiar with and had not heard in forever.  It was the song “Just the Rain” by Lonestar.  I listened for a bit and heard the words,

"How someone could be so close and still so far away.

Guess they'll never understand and I just can't explain."

I thought how perfect those words were to describe how I feel every day, but especially on January 15th.  Our daughter Lindsey is here with our granddaughter this week, and she is sleeping in the “Pack and Play” that’s set up in James’ room. As a result, we’ve spent more time in James’ room this week than normal.  So many of his things are still in the room, so many things given to us by others of memories they had with James.  But more than anything else, just the feel of James.  I can still see him propped up in bed in his pajama pants playing his electric guitar.  One of the reasons we moved into this house was so he could play his guitar.  We had looked at a house a couple of streets over, but had heard the neighbor didn’t appreciate any kind of noise or activity.  James was going into the 10th grade when we moved here, so there was going to be noise and activity. Anybody who knew James can attest to that.  We decided against that house and bought our current home.  And James played his guitar.  It’s still in his closet.  Now it’s the quiet, the nine years of quiet, but at times it’s still like he’s there.  James once signed the bedroom wall of Morgan Lewallen, one of his very best friends.  When her parents put the house up for sale several years ago, the fact that James had signed the wall was part of the ad for the house.  While James didn’t sign any of the walls in our house, he’s a part of every inch of it.  It’s still like he’s there.  One of the closing lines Alfred Lord Tennyson’s “Charge of the Light Brigade” is

"When will their glory fade?"

As I think through that line, when will any part of our story fade?  I think that’s something each of us wonder about.  When will our glory, our memory, our legacy fade?  I’m certain that depends on how we live, how we treat others, and the difference we’ve made in the lives of others.  Victor Frankl wrote, “Faith is trust in ultimate meaning.”  James had that trust, and embodied Paul’s words from Hebrews 11: 1, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”  He shared that faith freely, and I believe that’s a big part of why he’s still remembered, why his legacy continues to make a difference and impact the lives of others. 

We’re in the process now of reviewing the scholarship application form to be sent out to schools for graduating seniors.  We were blessed to be able to meet with every recipient last year, and share James’ story, our “why” for presenting the scholarships.  We received notes from two recipients this past week who shared with us how they’re doing in school and the difference James’ story made in their lives.  William James once wrote, “The great use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.”  I marvel that James did this as a teenager.  As we presented donations to local charities today, our next to last stop was Second Harvest, a local food bank.  Two men were moving pallets in the parking lot and asked Tammy about her purse as she got out of the car.  Her purse has a clock face on it, and the friend who gave it to her told her she thought it would help share James’ story, and The Clock is Ticking.  That was the case today.  As she shared, I gave each of them a card with The Clock is Ticking and James’ picture.  One of the men looked at it and said, “My son has this card on his mirror at home.” 

We smiled and listened as he told us this. 

We thank God for these encounters.  These reminders of how He can use the life of an ordinary 17 year old high school senior for His glory.  Lyndsay Green wrote, “We are all leaving a legacy, whether we like it or not.  Our legacy is a combination of the way we live every day and the impact it has on our friends, our family, our community and the world.” 

When will their glory fade?  As we remember that tragic day nine years ago, we are blessed as we receive almost daily examples of James’ life and legacy continuing to make a difference.  We’re doubly blessed this week to have Lindsey and Betty here with us and the constant reminders of James in this house. We miss James daily, but especially today, but take comfort in the words from Psalm 73: 26, “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”  Forever is a long time, and we’re blessed by a God who can make and keep that promise.  I still don’t understand how Bluetooth works, but I do understand how someone could be so close and still so far away.  We love you and miss you James.

On the Inside Looking Out - from Barbara Grondahl, Caretaker at Ocean Pond

We held our after-dinner meeting today to talk about James' fundraising dinner from last Tuesday to talk about what went well, what could have gone better, and what we may have forgotten.  One of the main reasons for the meeting though was to say thanks.  Many of those who helped with the planning for this dinner have been with us since January 15, 2011, and a big part of this journey and all that has been accomplished in keeping James' legacy alive.  James used to tell Tammy, "Mom, I make all of your friends."  Funny how that has not changed.  I could list all of those names, several who we knew before James went missing, but I'm sure I would miss somebody.  One name I did want to mention though is Barbara Grondahl.  Barbara runs the show at Ocean Pond, and was on her vacation when all of the events took place on January 15th.  She turned around and came back that evening, and orchestrated (with the help of several key individuals) an almost around the clock support effort for the dive teams, volunteers, law enforcement, and our family and friends.  She organized meals and volunteers and served over 5000 meals during the 17 day search for James.  Most important to us, she was a rock upon who we could depend.  She looked out for us, ensured we met each of the dive teams, ushered us out each night to ensure we got some rest, and assured us as we left with the words, "Don't worry.  I'm watching for him."  A few days after James' service, Barbara wrote the following letter to the Valdosta Daily Times.  She's one more friend James made for us, and we're so glad she's part of our life.  Thanks to you Barbara for the love and friendship you've shown us.

                                                                    On the Inside Looking Out

Written by Barbara Grondahl, Manager of Ocean Pond

Published in February 9, 2011 Valdosta Daily Times

Manager of Ocean Pond, I was privileged to observe first hand 24/7, the search and recovery of James Eunice and wish to comment on this amazing time in our county.  Ocean Pond and its members, without a flich, turned the house and grounds over the family and response team not knowing if this would take hours, days, weeks, even months. 

I wondered how I grew to love a child I never met.  I soon learned from his family, friends, teachers and church family it was because he had such a boundless capacity to love everyone and this energy and spirit were passed on to all involved.  James’ parents and family lived through this two plus weeks with such graciousness and strength of conviction, they at times became the comforters to others. 

Their church, CrossPointe, the pastor and his wife stepped in first to provide for the family and shortly saw the need to care for responders who quickly created a small army of volunteers.  Their action was like a water drop hitting the pond and the rippling effect it caused.  Soon other churches and organizations stepped in to help. 

Volunteers and donations, the ripple effect became a tsunami.  Oceans of soups, mountains of biscuits, every breakfast casserole recipe ever invented was served.  Pork pulled, shredded, diced and sliced showed up in trucks and even still on the grill towed behind a truck.  From someone making a pie or a batch of cookies to restaurants bringing added equipment, all played an important role giving the responders more time to work.  Volunteers so many, I could not begin to remember hundreds of names.  As days went on, they did get nicknames, Scrambler, the Cracker, French Toast King, Michael Jackson, PW, Dealer, Country Western Family.  All ages, all types, all worked non-stop.  Jennifer Simmons “Scrounger,” I still smile in amazement how she found people to bring in supplies day and night all in about 12 minutes.  They all pulled together to set up an organization in days that usually takes weeks or months to run smoothly. 

Mostly, I will be amazed and never forget our rescue and recovery leaders and workers.  I am not capable of writing to explain how hard they worked and dedicated they were.  Sheriff Chris Prine and Ashley Tye led quite a team that worked as one with other agencies like Moody Air Force Base, state police plus fire and rescue that a moment was not wasted.  You would be overwhelmed at the number of search and rescue volunteer teams that paid their own way to come in from other counties and states.

We had every type of weather possible those two-plus weeks and we watched workers come in soaked, shivering and bone tired and not one complaint was ever uttered by one of them.  The best of the best live among us each day.

On the morning James was found, I smiled fondly as I remember the officers watching over the family like Papa Grizzlies.  Clearing the house and grounds in about 37 seconds so the family can have have private time together.  It was a wonderful caring final moment.  These weeks had a profound effect on me and I believe scores of others.  I hope the momentum will stay when our county faces another event.  We will be there as volunteers with soup, bananas, cookies, water and barbecue plus a “thank you” to every worker.

Ocean Pond is again quiet.  The birds and wildlife are back; even the grounds seemed to sigh in relief. 

I will always remember James Eunice and his capacity to love the world and what he gave to us. 

Willing to Stand Alone - Nov 26, 2012

Tammy and I are blessed to be able to share James' story with different audiences, and we often talk about the impact one life sold out for Christ can make.  I thought about that last week while once again trying to catch up on my Sports Illustrated reading.  I’m only about three months behind.  I came across an excerpt from a book written by Jack McCallum, a writer for Sports Illustrated, about the 1992 US Olympic basketball team, also known as The Dream Team.  This particular article covered the greatest game no one ever saw.  It chronicled a scrimmage between the players on the team, with Michael Jordan as captain of one team and Magic Johnson as captain of the other.  The story also talked about some of the players on the team.  One that caught my eye was David Robinson, starting center for the San Antonio Spurs, who would later be inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame.  The team practiced on the island of Monaco before the Olympic games that year, and would play golf as one of their non-basketball activities.  McCallum wrote, “By Dream Team time, Robinson had, as he puts it, "been born again in Christ." He didn't drink or swear and was finding it uncomfortable to be around those who did. But a golf course—certainly one with Charles Barkley on it—is a very tough place for a true believer. Our fivesome played on, insults and four-letter words flying. At one point Robinson complained to Hubbard about Drexler's cussing and also wanted Barkley to tone it down. Charles seemed to comply, but then—I believe around the 14th hole—he let loose with another barrage, all of it in good humor but salty. So Robinson shook his head, smiled, picked up his bag and left.  In my mind's eye, I still see Robinson walking off the course on that day. Most athletic teams and most athletic relationships are built on sophomoric humor, insults and jokes, all wrapped in testosterone. To stand with your team yet somehow to have the guts to stand alone from time to time ... now, that takes a particular kind of man.”A particular kind of man.  As I sit here and listen to a story about Daniel, who lived a life committed to God, despite overwhelming odds, I thought about how difficult it is to stand alone, strong in your faith.  That’s obviously what impressed Jack McCallum that day as he saw David Robinson walk off the golf course.  I wonder if I could do that today at 54, but James did it at 17.  Too often we just give in to the bad behavior by saying, "everybody does it."  Tammy and I had that conversation the other day with the mom of a friend of James, who said that was often the comeback comment of their child to inputs they would provide as parents.  There were times James would say it, too, but he worked to stay grounded.  We’ve shared the letter James wrote when he applied for Freshman Summer Experience at Georgia.  His letter of acceptance for the summer program arrived during the 17 day search.  Not long after, we received a note back from the admissions department at UGA, along with James’ letter.  The admissions department wrote, “James submitted a thoughtful essay that discussed his upcoming first year of college, his participation in our program, and his excitement about attending the University of Georgia.”  James wrote about all of that, but he shared where he stood.  He closed his letter with the words:  “My mind is pretty flexible; however, I consider myself well-grounded in my beliefs and my faith will never budge.  I stand strong in what I believe in, even if I stand alone.”  A particular kind of man.  Much like David Robinson did while playing golf that day, James lived what he believed.  He was willing to stand alone.  It does take a particular kind of man, and I need to be more like that. 

Mark Richt Dinner - Feb 26, 2012

What an eventful and blessed week.  After a little over a year of planning, and thanks to a wonderful group of friends and the graciousness of CrossPointe Church, we held the first James Eunice Charity Fundraising Dinner this past Tuesday night.  Coach Mark Richt was our guest speaker, and he was amazing as he spoke about his faith, a little about football, and James' legacy.  We were so honored at how he tied James' story into his words that night.  Coach Richt had only met James for a few minutes in December of 2010 when Coach Richt was in Valdosta recruiting Malcolm Mitchell and Jay Rome.  I shared that story on Tuesday, and how excited James was when he called me that afternoon to tell me about meeting with Coach Richt.  Toward the end of the conversation though, James' voice tailed off and he said, "but Dad, I was wearing a Florida t-shirt."  Coach Richt shared his walk of faith on Tuesday, and although he didn't use the word, talked about legacy and purpose.  He tied in the words James wrote in "The Clock is Ticking," and used the example of Georgia's 2006 Sugar Bowl game against West Virginia.  It was a seesaw game in the fourth quarter as West Virginia lined up to punt to give Georgia the chance for a go ahead score to win the game.  West Virginia faked the punt, made the first down, and ran out the clock to win the game.  Coach Richt summarized it by saying, "the clock ran out on us."  He brought up James' words again as he said that.  Those words help define James' legacy.  I thought about that yesterday as I watched Kentucky play Vanderbilt in basketball.  I've always enjoyed watching UK play basketball.  They continue to be an elite program, but lately they've come to define the "one and done" team, with many of the highly prized recruits coming to Kentucky for a year and then departing for the NBA draft.  I thought about that "one and done" term, and how it applies to life.  One and done summarizes how we live.  We get one chance at life, and we should work to make the most of it.  Coach Richt talked about legacy, and we make a legacy by how we live with that "one and done" opportunity.  Make no mistake, we will leave a legacy, it's just a matter of what type of legacy we leave.  I don't think I've ever heard anyone say, "well he was close to leaving a good legacy behind."  We used to say close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.  It doesn't count for legacy.  We read and heard numerous comments about Coach Richt following his words Tuesday night.  They were consistent, whether they were Georgia fans or not, saying, "I'm a fan of the man and what he stands for."  That's developing a legacy, and the beauty of a life well lived is a legacy for the ages that will go beyond that "one and done."  As I watched the last few minutes of the UK game, Dan Fogelberg's song "Leader of the Band" played on my Ipod.  The words were timely as he sang about his dad's influence with the words, "I'm just a living legacy to the leader of the band."  John and Lindsey are our living legacies now, and they are building their own, and we're proud of what they've done with that legacy to date.  Tammy and I have said the words James wrote in "The Clock is Ticking" will live long beyond our years.  That's his legacy, and we're forever proud. 

Scholarship Reunion, Or How We Re-Connected with Maggie Smith (Dec 29, 2023)

Tammy and I drove to Thomasville yesterday to drop off some year end donations, including our own, for James’ foundation. We planned to make a day of it and top it off with dinner at Jonah’s Fish and Grits. We were hoping for a short wait time at Jonah’s, but when we walked in we saw our friends Doug Thompson and Danise Watson and Doug informed us it was an hour and a half wait. I went ahead and checked in and we spent the hour and a half wait visiting with Doug and Danise. We ended up sharing a table and having dinner together. We were blessed with a wonderful server named Patience, which was so appropriate after our 90-minute wait. We enjoyed a great visit with Doug and Danise, and towards the end of the night, Doug shared a few stories about old cars and I mentioned that we had sold James’ 1991 Pathfinder to Dude Thomas. Doug said he had read our recounting of that on Facebook. Doug would comment that he enjoyed reading about the various encounters that highlighted James’ story that seemingly came out of the blue. Our server came with our checks shortly afterwards, we settled up with her and prepared to leave. Danise stepped away from the table briefly, and while she was gone, a friend of Doug and Danise’s came up to the table. Doug introduced us to her, and when he introduced Tammy, the friend told Tammy, “My daughter received one of your scholarships.” She proceeded to introduce herself as Amy Smith, and said her daughter, Maggie, had graduated from Valwood in 2017 as the salutatorian and had graduated from Georgia Tech in 2021 with a degree related to computer software. She then shared that Maggie was with them. Tammy asked if we could get a picture with Maggie, so we started to move in a direction to do that. Amy’s husband, Jeff, walked up in the meantime and introduced himself. Maggie came up a few minutes later and she and Tammy began to talk. One of the key points of the application process Maggie remembered was the essay. We ask each of the applicants to read James’ words in The Clock is Ticking, words that begin with “Take time to love someone” and close with “If this just touches with one person, I will have done my job.” We ask each applicant to write about how they have made a difference in someone’s life or share how someone has made a difference in their life. Doug and Danise observed all of this just moments after Doug had mentioned the numerous apparently random occurrences related to James’ story that just happen. We took the picture with Maggie in front of Jonah’s, said our good-byes and Happy New Years, walked back to our car and talked about this encounter for the first portion of our drive back home. A trip made to Thomasville to deposit funds into the James Eunice Charity Fund which has presented over 790 scholarships in James’ name to graduating seniors since 2011, ended with an encounter with a scholarship recipient from Valdosta at a restaurant in Thomasville. What a wonderful way to close out 2023 and a wonderful reminder of how God continues to sustain a story of hope from tragedy.

Dec 30, 2023 - 13 Years Ago Today

13 years ago today we took a final picture as a physical family of 5 as we drove to the Valdosta Airport to put Lindsey on a plane to head back to Washington D.C. where she had been working since April. All was well in our little world. Everybody was thriving. Lindsey working, living and loving her new life in DC. Johnny had just completed his first semester of law school at UGA and James was about to begin his final semester at Valdosta High School. James would be graduating in May and heading off to the University Of Georgia in June-he hoped- to begin his freshman college experience and hopefully walk on to the Bulldog football team.

John and I were processing what was next for us. We were so very proud of our three kids but didn’t quite know what was around the corner for us.

17 days later with a phone call saying, “You need to come to Ocean Pond…James is missing”-10 words- our world suddenly- abruptly shattered.

I know I will never understand on this side of the veil why this had to be our plan…Why it had to have the outcome that it did…

I realized very early though that I didn’t have to understand it or like it but I could let God use this chapter of broken hearts and dreams to carry on a plan HE began in James. “Ministry”

Rarely will we understand death especially in the life of a young person. But even without the understanding of why it happened I can still CHOOSE to trust God to bring good out of a plan honestly-I won’t ever see as good!

I’ve learned many lessons through the loss of James and I’ve written about them. But one lesson I learned very early on is God’s Timing is not my timing and there is nothing I can grasp so tightly that if God chooses to take it I can keep. But what I continue to ask Him as we close out the 13 th year and move swiftly into year 14 of this irreplaceable young man we love and miss so much is “Lord, Please give us purpose. Use us as YOU used James to build Your Kingdom.” It was James’ greatest desire. John and I told friends last night that James did the hard part. He actually stepped into broken lives all around him and showed them the love of Christ. We go forward sharing that message. His was one on one many times sharing hope. We get to step into groups and we do it with passion because it is what he would be doing now if he were physically here.

I’m pondering and processing all this day means because this day like so many others was truly a gift from God to us 13 years ago.

Lost (from January 31, 2013)

31 Jan 2013

Lost.

That’s a four letter word nobody ever wants to hear.

Our first encounter with lost occurred when our oldest son, John, was about three years old.

We took a family vacation to Disney World with Tammy’s parents, Lindsey, and John.

 Lindsey was still in a stroller.

We took the tram across and walked through the front gates.

Tammy’s dad and I went to rent a stroller for John while Tammy and her mom watched Lindsey.

John was excited to be there, and unknown to anyone, he followed us to rent the stroller.

When we returned with the stroller, John was nowhere to be found.

 Panic doesn’t begin to describe the next few minutes.

Tammy’s dad and I ran looking for John.

Fortunately, someone recognized John was lost and was standing with him just past the information center leading to Main Street.

This took less than two minutes, but this was no longer the happiest place on earth.

Tammy cried most of the day, but in this case our lost got found.

It was another 10 years before we had another lost event.

We lived in Boston.

One Saturday morning Tammy went for a walk with a friend.

 Shortly after she left I heard the screen door close.

I got up to see what was going on.

I checked the kids’ rooms.

James was gone.

I put on my shoes, and started running through the neighborhood and looking for James.

After about thirty minutes, I ran into someone who was walking and she said two men who were going golfing had seen a little boy sitting on the curb in his pajamas so they knocked on the door of the house he was sitting in front of, and woke them up. They took James in and called the police.

I arrived before the police did, and that’s where I found James, sitting on their floor and playing with their cat.

Lost, but found.

“James is missing” is how our third lost event began.

For 17 days I held out hope for a Lazarus resurrection as we watched boats and divers spend hours on Ocean Pond searching for James.

The morning of January 31st began with a phone call from Tom Newbern.

 We needed to come to Ocean Pond.

Tammy asked, “Have they found…..” and before she could finish, Tom just said, “You need to come.”

We rushed the 10 minutes across Highway 41 and down that familiar gravel road to the clubhouse where we were ushered inside and upstairs.

 They had found James.

This time the found didn’t work like I had prayed for it to happen.

I clung to the hope they would somehow find him alive, but Sheriff Prine told us no.

As we watched the car drive away with James we walked outside to the warmest day we had seen during that period. 

We met the dog teams who had found James, and talked briefly with the leader of the team that had recovered him. 

We looked overhead as a two ship formation of A-10’s flew over Ocean Pond for James and performed the missing man formation.

A friend put together a video later that week, and one of the captions underneath a picture of James read, “forever in His arms.”

James was found and was where he desired to be.

Reliving this two years later doesn’t make it any easier, but looking back at this desperate time for us, we can see what a beautiful portrait it paints of Christ’s love for us, something that James would want everyone to know.

As we saw teams from three states converge on a 500 acre pond for 17 days to search for James, it’s easy to picture the parable of the shepherd and the lost sheep, with the shepherd leaving the 99 to find the one.

I go back to John 15:13:  “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

This is the motto of the pararescue teams that recovered James, but it perfectly describes the men and women who searched during those 17 days in the most horrible of conditions.

Examples of love and compassion were everywhere during the search, and have continued as part of James’ legacy.

I believe James would want his legacy to seek out the lost for Christ, to show God’s grace and mercy and to lead others to that personal relationship with Christ he professed and proudly shared.

He would look forward to hearing them sing those familiar words from Amazing Grace, “I once was lost, but now am found.”

Helping the lost get found.

That’s what it’s all about.

Still Touching Lives

James was recovered 12 years ago today, January 31 2011.  When we share James’ story, we often say that when James was recovered we thought James’ story was over, that our story was over.  We then add two words, But God.  We had no idea that God was not through with James’ story nor how He would continue to use it.  On January 15th, the 12th anniversary of the day James went missing, Joy Fondren, one of James’ favorite teachers, sent us a text message.  She wrote, “I received the following message this morning from a friend I met about 6 years ago at the AP Reading. He lives in Tennessee and although he no longer does the reading we have kept in touch. I thought you would like to see how James is still touching lives.”

Her friend’s text read, “Out of nowhere I know, but I was curious about your picture and figured out what the background was pretty quick from the comments. For some reason I was compelled to keep reading story after story. Ugh. That poor poor mother. It's just gut reaching even to read about it. I hate hate hate these kind of things. The poem he wrote about a classmate that passed away earlier. The story about Mark Richt sending them a jersey. The pastor reading a letter saying James made the team. The one kid who never met him except for once in the hall when James told him "whatever it is God can handle it". We teachers unfortunately deal with kids that lose their life way too young, and evvvvveryone is a tragedy. But sometimes I feel like the stories get drummed up or something. It's horrible to even think that but I do sometimes. But all the stuff people said about this James Eunice. I am 500 miles and 12 years removed and I feel like I know the guy and I feel like he really is everything everybody says he is.  I bet your community was just shattered. I don't know why I'm telling YOU all this, as you clearly lived it. Something just drew me into his story.”

I cried as I read it.  I shared it at Valwood when we spoke to their FCA huddle a week and a half ago.  I got choked up as I read it that morning.  The words “something just drew me into his story” brought back memories of words Drew Jubera wrote four years after losing James.  Drew wrote, “He had a presence far too stubborn to fade.  A gift.  A light.”

As I type this note, I remain in awe of how God continues to use the story of James’ life and legacy.  That gift.  That light.  Tom Brokaw once said, “It’s easy to make a buck.  It’s a lot tougher to make a difference.”  That’s how James lived, to make a difference.  Joy’s friend saw it 12 years later and 500 miles away.  It only reemphasizes the words of Dillon Burroughs, “Everyone leaves a legacy, whether they want to or not. The question is, “What kind of legacy will you leave?”

We see the purpose behind James’ life, the legacy that’s still making a difference.  It doesn’t lessen the pain of his not being here.  As CS Lewis said, “The death of a beloved is like an amputation.”  We will continue to miss him daily, but will also continue to move forward as we walk this broken path and share a story of hope as long as God allows us.  Thank you, Joy for sharing.  Thank you, James for how you lived.  I love you and I miss you.

Hall of Fame Helmet

James loved being a part of the Valdosta Wildcat football team.  The Wildcats retired his number 23 jersey prior to the coin toss of the opening game of the 2011 season against Brooks County.  We weren’t expecting it, but it’s funny how God provided some foreshadowing that night.  There was zero percent chance of rain and not a cloud in the sky until just before the game.  A cloud blew in from nowhere and provided a quick downpour, much like the weather we experienced during the 17-day search for James.  It was rainy and dreary every day during the search. 

 Psalm 46: 10 tells us, “Be still and know that I am God.”  The number 23 is an ever present reminder to us of James, and shows up randomly, sometimes infrequently, sometimes frequently, but always right on time.  Eight years later Clay Brindger, head coach at Valdosta Middle School, walked up to us just before we began to share at their FCA that morning.  He handed us a black number 23 jersey and wanted to let us know they were going to retire the number 23 jersey at Valdosta Middle School in honor of James.  We attended their last game of the season, and the team captains carried the white number 23 jersey, which is now displayed at Valdosta Middle School, to the center of the field for the coin toss.  James was an honorary captain for the game (which they won).  We were so humbled by this act, especially considering James never attended Valdosta Middle School.  Psalm 34: 18 reminds us that “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”  This verse is so very true and continues to so clearly demonstrate to us God’s presence along this very broken road.  The number 23 is almost like a resting place along that broken road and we welcome its presence at each appearance.  I returned a bag of apples to Publix last night.  The young lady who waited on me refunded me six dollars and twenty-three cents.  I put the folding money up, but have kept the change in my pocket as a reminder of God’s goodness along this path.  Pocket change may be insignificant and many may shrug it off as coincidence, but we’ve seen through the years how God shows up big when we least expect it. 

Coach Brindger called me on Tuesday, August 14.  The Wildcats were preparing to leave the next day to drive to Masillon, Ohio to play Washington High School from Masillon, the second winningest high school football team in the nation.  Valdosta is first.  Coach Brindger said he was part of the team that had travelled up several weeks earlier to scout the area and look for places to stay and eat.  They also stopped at the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio as they planned to take the team there on the Thursday before the game.  Clay said they talked to the curators and explained a little about the significance of the game and the history of Valdosta football, and asked if they would like something from the Valdosta team.  The Hall of Fame recommended a helmet, which they said could be on display occasionally. 

As the team prepared the equipment for the trip, Coach Bringer reminded Coach Shelton about the helmet.  Coach Shelton picked up a helmet and gave it to him.  Clay said he looked and saw the number on the back of the helmet.  23.   Coach Brindger said Jay Rome, James’ good friend and teammate and now a coach at Valdosta, was in the room at the time as well.  They both just smiled.  Coach Brindger called me later that afternoon to share the story of the helmet and the Hall of Fame.  The team presented the helmet to the Hall of Fame that Thursday before the game.  I’m not sure how often, if ever, the helmet will be displayed there, but I think it's great that a piece of the Valdosta High School tradition and history is at the Pro Football Hall of Fame.  From a personal standpoint, I marvel at how God works through a number, sometimes in small ways and sometimes in ways beyond our imagination, and continues to allow us to share James’ story and legacy.   James loved being a part of the Wildcat football team, but as much as it was a part of him and his story, it wasn’t where his identity was.  He described himself with the following words on Facebook:  “Eunice, Eundawg, Uni. Many of my names, but my favorite is Follower of Christ. I've messed up a lot in my life, but God is teaching me lessons from every valley He walks me through. I love Jesus, and that's who I'm living for :) I'm a 17-year old senior at VHS, and can't wait to see what the future holds. 2K11 represent!”

 I’m grateful for a God who continues to represent and sends reminders, big and small, that He is with us on this journey.  Grateful for the story James left and grateful for people like Coach Clay Brindger.  James #23 continues to be listed on the Valdosta High School roster as retired.  His name is listed at the University of Georgia along with others from Valdosta who played at UGA.  A Valdosta Wildcat football helmet with the number 23 is now at the Pro Football Hall of Fame.  God really does do His best work through ordinary. 

All Dogs Go To Heaven 2 (Aug 10, 2020)

As I walked in the door this afternoon, Tammy said, “Russ called.  Flash died yesterday.”  Our pastor shared some time ago that he finds he cries much easier the older he gets.  I cried as Tammy said those words.  Flash was a dog.  He wasn’t our dog, but he was.  He was special and part of our family without ever belonging to us.  Russ is Russ Clark.  We love Russ and his family.  He was part of the search team that looked for James on days 16 and 17 of the search.  He was a K-9 handler for the Nassau County Sheriff’s Department.  Flash was his dog.  Flash found James and the pararescue team from Moody Air Force Base recovered James on January 31, 2011.  We loved Flash from that moment forward.  His name fit, because we only really met him for a few flashes of time, but he was always a part of us.

We caught up with Russ and Flash a few months later as we made our way around the area to say thank you to the various agencies who participated in the search.  We had our picture made with Russ and Flash.  We spent a week a few years later at Amelia Island and had dinner with Russ and his family, and Flash.  Russ and his family moved to Tallahassee a few years later, and had to leave Flash behind.  Flash was retired by the Sheriff’s Department a few years later, but Russ always kept us updated on Flash.  Russ spoke at our TCT7 BBQ Dinner a few years ago and talked a little about Flash.  Tonight, as he shared about Flash he said Flash had been their oldest son’s best friend.  It reminded me of the song “Feed Jake,” with the words, “He’s been a good dog, my best friend right through it all.” 

I mentioned that crying thing earlier.  It happened again tonight on our way home from Thomasville.  I turned to Tammy and said, “Flash died on 8/9.  If you add the numbers, it’s 17.  Flash found our 17 year old on the 17th day of the search.”  I thought I would have to pull over as I tried to explain through the tears.  I wouldn’t think that a dog we’d only met two or three times would bring about such strong emotions, but he really was family by his forever connection with James.  James never met Flash, and yet, somehow I think he knew Flash.   I visited Nashville on business in the early 2000’s and Tammy and James came with me.  Opry Mills Shopping Center was next door to our hotel, and there was shop there that sold metal signs.  James wanted to buy two and we let him.  Both were hunting pictures.  One of the two included a pair of beige hunting boots, a shotgun, a box of shotgun shells, a duck decoy and two golden Labrador puppies.  Flash was a golden lab. 

Tammy and I like to think that James was the first person to greet Flash as he crossed the Rainbow Bridge. 

Richard Biby wrote the poem Just A Dog.  One particular line may best describe our relationship with Flash,   “Some of my saddest moments have been brought about by "just a dog," and in those days of darkness, the gentle touch of "just a dog" gave me comfort and reason to overcome the day.”  Flash helped us overcome that day almost 10 years ago, and he will always be a part of our lives.  Tammy said tonight it was almost like he was our dog.  Russ and his family did all of the hard work, but always let us be a part, and for that we’re forever grateful.  Thanks Flash. 

The Goodness of God - James' 29th Birthday (June 16, 2022)

I listened to Stephen Davey’s sermon series on Ruth and Boaz a few days ago.  One of the topics he brought up during the series was being still.  He used several verses to support this, but most well known of these is Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.”  I think it’s those times when God shows up.  I’ve never heard God speak, but I’ve seen him show up.  That happened today, which also happens to be James’ birthday.  James would be 29 today.  I got in my car this morning, and as I began to back out, I noticed Amazing Grace playing on the radio.  It was an instrumental rendition on bagpipes.  As it came to a close, Chris Tomlin’s version of Amazing Grace began to play.  I wouldn’t think much of that except that we were speaking tonight in Moultrie and sharing James’ story.  One of the stories involved Chris Tomlin.  As the song concluded, Terry Tidwell began to share the story of Renee Napier.  She said Renee had faced the unfathomable tragedy of losing a child.  The fact Terry mentioned a story involving the loss of child on James’ birthday seemed more than coincidence to me.  While Renee’s story and ours are different,  they’re the same.  The loss of a child is a daily loss and it changes you, but you get to choose how you handle that loss.  Later this morning, a friend asked if he could share a piece of James’ story in an event tomorrow.  He had no idea today was James’ birthday.  “Be still and know that I am God.”

We’ve had so much happen over these past four months, and I’ve wondered how to weave it together.  “Be still” provided that opportunity..  Not so much the verse, but just how God continues to orchestrate events around James and around his story.  We were blessed to attend Malcolm Mitchell’s Share the Magic Foundation event in February.  It was such a wonderful time, but better still were the stories that came from the evening.  This started a weekend of so many memories of James.  We visited with Jay and Kiersten Rome that night and Kiersten shared a piece of James’ story with some of her friends there that night.  We sat at a table with a couple we shared mutual friends with from Watkinsville, where James was born.  Of course, we visited with Malcolm.  We were fortunate to briefly visit with Coach Mark Richt earlier in the evening.  We introduced ourselves and then told him, “We’re James Eunice’s parents.”  He replied, “Well then, we need to hug.” 

We headed over to Watkinsville the next morning.  Our old church, Briarwood Baptist, was honoring Reverend Dan Fuller or better known as Preacher Dan, a wonderful man of God.  He had been our pastor when we lived there.  We re-connected with so many friends that day, without ever leaving the parking lot.  We were the first ones there, and the last to leave two hours later.

Tammy left afterwards to go home with a friend while I ran over to Athens to pick up some items from Trader Joe’s.  As I waked down one of the last aisles of the store, I thought I recognized someone, and said with a questioning tone, “Rance?” 

He turned around and I saw it was Rance Gillespie, James’ football coach during his senior year.  Rance and his wife, Claudette, were in town from Lake Hartwell visiting their daughter Kennedy, who was there in nursing school.  We all talked together for several minutes to get caught up before I left to go pick up Tammy.  Oh, and my receipt was $22.30.

As I left the parking lot, the song “Thy Will” by Hillary Scott began to play.  I heard the words

“I know you hear me,

I know you see me, Lord. 

Your plans are for me

Good news you have in store

So, thy will be done.”

And I thought back to all that happened that weekend with the encounters with people involved on both ends of James’ life.  Preacher Dan had delayed baby dedication until after James was born so James could be a part of baby dedication at our church.  So many of the friends we re-connected with that day visited James as a newborn.  Jay and Malcolm were good friends and teammates of James and are so very special to us.  Coach Richt will always be a hero to us for all he did to honor James.  And Rance and Claudette remain good friends to us.  Without Rance, I’m not sure we have the football portion of James’ story and James’ encounter with Coach Richt.  Of course, we’ll never forget Rance leading James’ teammates into the church for James’ service as honorary pallbearers or Jay and Malcolm presenting us with James’ jersey from UGA and the note from Coach Richt. 

And, with that as a backdrop, here we are on James’ 29th birthday with everything that happened from this morning.  But that’s not all for the day.  We drove to Moultrie tonight to share James’ story with a group of about 50 young people.  They opened the service by singing “The Goodness of God” and the words

And all my life You have been faithful

And all my life You have been so, so good

These are the same words that were playing as we pulled into the Briarwood Baptist Church parking lot that February weekend.  “Be still and know that I am God.”  We shared stories tonight about so many of the people from that weekend who are part of this ongoing tapestry.  But mostly, we shared about James and the goodness of God and his amazing grace.

Through many dangers, toils, and snares

I have already come

'Tis grace that brought me safe thus far

And grace will lead me home

We shared tonight that James’ goal in life was to make a difference in the lives of other people.  Happy birthday James.  I think you did that tonight.  I know you’ve made a difference in my life.  I love you and I miss you. 

All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.  --  Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life is Tough (January 11, 2012)

Our oldest son, John, idolized Danny Wuerffel when he was younger.  John was left handed, like Wuerffel, and he followed through his college career and into the NFL.  A family friend, Todd Peterson, knew Danny Wuerffel, and was able to get John an autograph for him when we lived in Ohio.  We bought John the number 7 Florida jersey when we lived in Boston, and he wore it proudly until he outgrew it and passed it down to James.  I've admired Danny Wuerffel for years as well, even though he beat my beloved Bulldogs, because of how he lived and what he stood for.  Despite a number of successes, including the Heisman Trophy, he's endured some major challenges in his life.  Through it all, he has maintained his faith to weather these storms.   I stumbled across the article below on CNN.com yesterday, and found it fitting for this week.  The story details Danny Wuerffel's recent challenges, and begins with the three words:  "life is tough."  As we approach January 15th, I can relate.

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In the Human Factor, we profile survivors who have overcome the odds. Confronting a life obstacle - injury, illness or other hardship - they tapped their inner strength and found resilience they didn't know they possessed. This week, Heisman Trophy winner and former NFL player Danny Wuerffel talks about his battle with Guillain Barre Syndrome, and why he left the NFL to run Desire Street Ministries.

"Life is tough."

I remember hearing those words often growing up, especially from my father when things weren’t going my way. I hated those words as a kid... and I still do.

Something inside me resists any suggestion that life shouldn’t be comfortable.

In early June of last year I was diagnosed with a condition known as Guillian Barre Syndrome, an auto-immune disorder that left me temporarily paralyzed. While the acute and debilitating part of GBS didn’t last too long for me, I’ve been battling with my recovery for over seven months now, and the difficulties in my life related to the illness continue to make life much harder than I want.

Overall, I’m doing better and I’m thankful for the progress (most people tell me I don’t look sick anymore, and some days I can be pretty active). But I regularly feel I don’t have the ability to keep up with even a few activities each day. I feel like I’m in a NASCAR race on a moped.

Life is tough?

Being sick is tough. Raising kids is wonderful but tough. Marriage is beautiful but also tough. Ministry is often tough. And that’s before you throw in hurricanes

 (we lost our home in Katrina) and GBS. Perhaps those words from my father revealed more truth than I realized.

In Richard Rohr’s book "Adam’s Return" - a book surveying how various cultures initiate their boys into manhood - he says that one of the first tasks is to force the boys to experience the “toughness” of life, often through difficult, painful and sometimes bloody ordeals.

If a boy is forced to accept the fact that life will be tough, then at least he doesn’t have to spend the rest of life getting bent out of shape and surprised every time he encounters the difficulties of life in a broken world.

It’s tough enough to deal with the hardships in life, but to have a false expectation that life will be easy - that we somehow deserve things to be easy - that can turn a tough moment into an unbearable one.

Yet every time I turn on the television or see a magazine cover, I’m barraged with messages to the contrary. You should be happy, and you deserve it. We live in America, for heaven’s sake. Unfortunately, I hear many similar messages from pastors and authors. Contemporary faith in America often mirrors our culture’s obsession with the “good life.”

Life has a lot of seasons, and some of them are filled with joy, gladness and celebration. There are many times to laugh and smile.

But we shouldn’t get swept away by the illusion that life has only one season, and it’s always delightful. Why can’t we be people with the depth, courage and trust to embrace the hard and heavy things of life?

I believe God resides not only in the joy and new life associated with the season of spring, like a reward if we somehow survive winter. We can find him in every season... if we’re willing to look long and hard enough.

I just happen to be in a tough one right now. It’s winter for me.

I trust a new season is on the way. God will bring me spring when He is ready. He just wants to meet me in the winter right now.

I remember my father’s words, “Life is tough, Danny.”

He was right.

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As I read these words of truth, I can't help but be inspired to continue this journey.  I'm also reminded of John Wayne's quote in the movie Sands of Iwo Jima, "Life is tough.  It's tougher if you're stupid."  I'll paraphrase his quote, and say it's tougher without God.  He's with us wherever life's journey takes us, through whatever season we're in.  2011 is a season we would just as soon have never experienced.  This journey is not a path we would choose, and I would give everything back that's been done in this past year to have James back.  But that's not what we've been given.  There are no guarantees in life.  God doesn't promise lives of ease for us, but he does promise He will see us through any situation, good or bad.  Unfortunately, too many of us wait until the bad to turn to God, when we should be thanking Him daily for the blessings in life.  Philip Brooks once said, "Do not pray for easy lives; pray to be stronger people!  Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers; pray for powers equal to your tasks. Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle, but you shall be a miracle. Every day you shall wonder at yourself, at the richness of life which has come to you by the grace of God."  I believe this is the mindset each of us need as we move forward on life's journey, wherever it may take us.  Danny Wuerffel is right, life is tough, but God sees us through. 

2011 Winnersville Classic Recap

Where do I begin with this one?  Tammy and I are trying to soak in all of the events from this past week.  I didn't think anything could top Wednesday night's Christ Makes Winners Rally at CrossPointe, but I was so wrong.  I want to say up front that I firmly believe that God doesn't care who wins football games or any other sporting events, but I do believe He can show Himself through these types of events and other daily activities.  Tammy and I have both shared before the significance of numbers attached to James' life.  James was number 23 in football, number 15 in baseball, he was 17 years old when he went missing, number 17 in his class and was missing for 17 days.  We don't worship these numbers, but we are keenly aware whenever they show up, and we believe God reveals Himself to us through these numbers at times to let us know He's still got this.  

Tammy and I had decided we were going to watch this year's Valdosta-Lowndes game on TV, since ESPNU was broadcasting it.  It would just be easier to do that this year.  On Monday I decided I would go ahead and buy tickets just in case we changed our mind.  I was there late Monday afternoon, and Marty Roesch was at the ticket window.  I told him I just needed two of the four tickets we were eligible to buy.  He asked me if I wanted low, medium or high seats in the stadium.  I told him it didn't matter.  Then he asked if I was sure I wanted just the two tickets.  I told him I'd buy all four.  I paid for the tickets and went home without looking at them.  I called my friend, Todd Buckham, later that afternoon to see if he still needed tickets since he wouldn't be able to get his until the next day.  He called me back and told me he had been able to get his tickets, and I didn't think anything more about it.  We attended the FCA Rally at CrossPointe on Wednesday, and saw Terry Allen, who plays for Valdosta, afterwards and he said he hadn't seen us at the Cat Walk.  We were out of town on one, and I had car problems on the last one and was late getting home from work and missed the one for MLK.  After he said that to us, I told Tammy we had to go to the game. 

On Thursday, our friend, Rahat, came to help us set up a website.  The football game came up in conversation, and he said he had never been to a Valdosta game before, so we invited him to Friday's game.  I went to the bedroom, and picked up our tickets, and saw we were sitting in Section M, Row 23, Seats 21, 22, 23 and 28.  We gave him the ticket for seat 21, and we kept the other 3.  I showed Tammy the other tickets after he left.  Row 23, Seat 23.

We went to the game, along with most of the community, and found our seats.  It turned out we were sitting behind Claudette Gillespie, her mother (who we had met the Sunday before), and Coach Gillespie's mother.  We were two rows behind Julie Loudermilk, Coach Loudermilk's wife.  As the game began, we noticed Jeffries Eldridge on the field filimng the game wearing a Clock is Ticking t-shirt.  A few of the players and several others had told us they were playing the game for James, and, of course, we were cheering for them, win, lose, or draw.  The game lived up to its billing.  Both teams played well.  Lowndes controlled most of the first half, and went in at halftime ahead 14-0.  Valdosta took the second half kickoff and put together a seven minute drive to make the game 14-7.  The game moved on, and Lowndes kicked a field goal to make the score 17-7.  Valdosta drove to the Lowndes one yard line late in the fourth quarter, but the Lowndes defense held on fourth and goal, and Lowndes took over with just over 5 minutes left in the game.  Four plays later, Lowndes punted the ball back to us with 3:34 left in the game.  We completed a pass on our first play, and Lowndes intercepted on the next play with 2:54 left in the game.  Lowndes ran the ball on three straight plays, and the Cats used their last timeout before Lowndes punted back to us with 1:20 remaining in the game.  There was 1:10 left when we took over.  Many of the fans were filing out of the game.  Tammy had prayed before the game, "God, I know you don't care who wins this game, but I want you to get the most glory, however the game turns out."  With about a minute and a half left, she said she heard God say, "Do you trust me?  This isn't over yet.  I'm not finished."  She told me this on Saturday.  On the first play, the Cats completed a pass for 50 yards to the Lowndes 5.  We spiked the ball to stop the clock with 57 seconds left in the game.  The Cats scored on the next play to make it 17-14 with 49 seconds left.  We set up for the onside kick, and recovered it on the Lowndes 47 with 45 seconds left.  We lost five yards on a penalty on the first down, and replayed the down with 41 seconds left.  We threw an incomplete pass and the clock moved to 37 seconds.  We completed a pass to the 35 on the next play for a first down with 29 seconds left.  We spiked the ball to stop the clock with 27 seconds left.  After the game was over, we came home to watch this last series again.  At this point in the game, the announcers posted on the TV screen and announced to the audience our quarterback, Shelby Wilkes, was 15 of 23 for 170 yards.  There are those numbers again.  On the next play, Shelby threw a 35 yard touchdown pass to put Valdosta ahead.  We scored with 17 seconds left.   The Cats recovered the kickoff and ran out the clock to win the game. 

We had to watch the last few seconds when we returned home because we missed the extra point after the go-ahead touchdown was scored.  Tammy and I both were overcome with emotion and had to sit down.  We knew how much this game meant to James last year, and how proud he is of his teammates for how they played this year.   

I apologize for all of the details in the note, but I think it's important to the story.  A big part of the story is how well both teams played, and we are so proud of both schools.  Along with that goes the many gracious notes we and James have received from Lowndes' fans on the game.   We thank you so much for remembering James.  Both teams represented this community well, but we have to tell this from the Valdosta perspective, because James will forever be a Wildcat.  The Cats honored James as so many of them had said they would, and they honored who James served.  The numbers 23, 15, and 17 may not mean anything to anyone else, and many may think these are trivial or just coincidences, but we never will.  To us it shows God is still in control of this story.  We know God works in mysterious ways.  We made a commitment to God we would share what we experience, and this is part of our journey.  We've said before, we don't want to miss a thing, so we had to tell this.  We continue to be amazed.  We were amazed Friday night by the spirit of these Wildcats, at how they battled back from a seemingly insurmountable lead with so little time on the clock.  We are so proud of them.  They never, never, never quit.  That's the beauty of God, too.  He never quits on us, no matter how dire the consequences, how inexplainable the situation or how overwhelming things might seem.  We continue to be amazed at how God continues to reveal things to us in so many different ways.  He told Tammy He wasn't finished Friday night, and I don't think He's finished with James' story yet either.  It's up to us to stay alert on the journey so we don't miss anything God reveals along the way. 

UGA's Richt shows there's more to winning than the final score by Dick Yarbrough

Over my long life, I have come to realize that college football is not life-or-death. Life and death are life and death. Football is a game. Only a game. Yet, there are those rare times when the sport can tell us a lot about life - and death - and remind us that there is more to winning than the final score.

Georgia Head Football Coach Mark Richt has been the subject of a barrage of criticism regarding last year's 6-7 record from dumbos who couldn't pass a football if you fed them prunes. The man is 96-34 overall but anything less than an undefeated season and an SEC championship is failure in their eyes. They obviously weren't around when people regularly beat Georgia like a drum. I had to endure eight straight losses to Georgia Tech. Not a happy time.

But even this bunch of yahoos should pause a moment between their anonymous blogs and talk show rants and give thanks that Mark Richt is the face of the University of Georgia football program.

In what was a banner year of recruiting, Coach Richt cleaned up in the state of Georgia, getting just about every star athlete he went after. But one selection above all the others proves the character of the man.

In an age of ego-maniacal football coaches, he is pure class.

Two of the most heavily-recruited football players in the state this past year were Jay Rome and Malcolm Mitchell, of Valdosta High School. In pursuing them - and eventually signing them up to play at UGA - Mark Richt ran across a young man, James Eunice, who was on the same football team with Rome and Mitchell.

Eunice was an honor student and a two-sport athlete, playing football and baseball. He had already been accepted to the University of Georgia on the basis of his academics and had told the coach that he planned to walk on next fall with the expectation of making the football team.

That all changed when 17-year-old Eunice drowned while duck hunting near Valdosta in mid-January. It took 17 excruciating days before his body was discovered by searchers.

At his funeral a couple of weeks ago, both Jay Rome and Malcolm Mitchell came to the front of the church with a box. In it was a letter from Coach Richt addressed to the Eunice family which they read aloud. The coach expressed his profound sorrow at what had happened. He also reminded the Eunice family how James had told him that he intended to walk on to the Bulldog football team.

At the end of the letter, Mark Richt added, "Oh yeah, James made the team." With that, Rome and Mitchell pulled out of the box an official Georgia football jersey.

On the back were Eunice's name and the No. 23 he had worn at Valdosta.

The grieving audience rose to their feet in applause.

James Eunice was officially a Georgia Bulldog.

Two long-time readers, Jean Aldredge, of Atlanta, and Rhonda Hoffman, of Valdosta, wrote me about event and suggested I let you know in case you had not heard.

And there is a good chance you have not, what with the rebellions in the Middle East, the ongoing debates about health care and illegal immigration, budget reductions and on and on. With all the meanness and shrillness in the world today, sometimes we overlook life's small but very important lessons. Like how a big-time football coach could have ignored the tragedy in Valdosta in the middle of an extremely competitive recruiting period and no one would have known the difference. But that isn't who he is. Or how two star football players who have a seemingly unlimited future in football now understand that life is a little more complicated than the X's and O's of a play-action pass.

And a family that grieves for a young life gone much too soon who can take great pride in knowing that James Eunice was able to accomplish his cherished goal because he wasn't afraid to dream big.

I hope Coach Mark Richt has a banner year and that my beloved Bulldogs do well. (If they just beat Tech by a hundred points or so, I'll be satisfied. My goals are modest.) But no matter what happens on the football field, the man is a winner and always will be in my book. I am proud that he represents my alma mater.

A Sister's Thoughts Before 2023 College Football National Championship Game

Almost 12 years ago today, my forever 17-year old baby brother, James, died tragically in a hunting accident.  He had recently been accepted into UGA and had plans to walk on to the football team.  Two of his high school teammates were going on football scholarships, and while I’m skeptical that James would have ever played a snap, he was so enthusiastic about being a Georgia Bulldog that we were all convinced that he would make the team.  Sadly, just a few months before high school graduation, our hope of seeing him on the field came crashing down..

The day of his funeral, the massive sanctuary was standing room only and the entire Valdosta High School football team showed up wearing their jerseys in an amazing show of solidarity for our family.  Towards the end of the service our pastor called Jay Rome and Malcolm Mitchell up to the stage to read a letter from then head coach Mark Richt.  I can’t remember exactly what the letter said…  I think I blacked out from absolute shock, but I remember so vividly the closing line, “oh yeah, James made the team” followed by Jay and Malcolm holding up a Georgia jersey  with his #23 and Eunice on the back.  There wasn’t a lot that could have warmed my heart that day, but I was overwhelmed with gratitude and grief all at once.

For four years, James Eunice WR #23 was on every single roster, and for four years, UGA treated our family like James was a star player on the team – an honor that I cannot even begin to describe.  The night of the senior dinner, the AV department put together this video to surprise our family and then called us up on stage with all the seniors….  I was absolutely not ok.  I bawled my eyes out the rest of the night, and I bawled again rewatching this video and reliving that moment last night.  To say I’m a Georgia fan is an understatement – in all kinds of weather, but I sure am hoping for sunny and 75 tonight. 

Now let’s go get ‘em, you silver britches. 

Note From a Friend

It is in the most ordinary times that a note, text, or message comes to us. It’s very humbling and we never take messages lightly. Every message is a blessing and greatly appreciated. As we process the message we ponder how we will use it. We love to tell these stories because these stories give others-when we share them insight into James’ life and a glimpse into how we have taken tragedy and allowed God to shape us and give us purpose and ministry.

I received this message last week. I read it to John through tears and as I looked at him he also was wiping tears. Sometimes it is hard to believe this is our story. It is impossible to imagine how we could do anything we have done without God leading and directing us. That really is the miracle of any of it! When we receive a message like this one from someone we have only talked to once and that was on a FaceTime call when his son received a scholarship it reminds us that what we have been called to do matters! And so we press on!

“Dear Friends,

While never spending time with you, never having conversations, and for that matter not even certain that we have ever formally met, I pause today to write and express love for the two of you from my wife and me. I apologize for the informality of a text. Today while attending a funeral I passed the temporary resting place of James. I immediately stopped in my tracks as I had never visited this special place. I was quickly reminded of the day when we will all be caught up together with our Savior. I stood alone and took the time to lift your names before the Throne of Grace. I am so glad that we can know He hears us and loves us. So today, may God comfort you and strengthen you. May He continue to use you in a powerful way and may the lives of others come to know salvation in Christ through your story. I do not know why God chose this journey for you but I am thankful that you have remained steadfast and faithful. Only Heaven will truly reveal the impact of your lives here on earth and may you be reminded in the most difficult of moments that He loves you and there are many others that love you and pray for you faithfully. Thank you for being a blessing in our lives and may you feel the presence of the Lord and His loving arms around you each day! Thank you for being you and being vulnerable so that others may hear of our Savior. Heaven grows sweeter each day and praise his name we are one day closer to eternity with Him and a reunion with family. May God richly bless you beyond your imagination. We love you!”

This truly took my breath away. Along with the text he sent a picture of James’ door. I’m thankful he took it and shared it with us. Today I will share a picture of James as he will always be remembered! Our prayer daily is for us is to honor God as we share how HE worked in James’ life first and now through the ministry HE has given to us to carry.

Can I Praise God When the Answer is No?

John and I were catching up on Season 3 of “The Chosen”. There was a scene so profound it took my breath. The scene is with one of the disciples-Little James. Little James has a limp. And he approaches Jesus to ask him how he would have power to heal when Jesus had not healed him-yet. It’s such a picture of why some don’t get the answer they desire.

Is it healing you didn’t get? Is it a different answer to the greatest petition you made as a parent to have your child physically back and God takes him Home instead? That’s what this conversation is about with Jesus and Little James. I really paid attention when the conversation was with James! I’m going to share this scene. It. Is. So. Good!

Jesus and Little James

“Little James stumbles and pauses as he asks Jesus his most important question:

“You’re sending us out with the ability to heal the sick and lame…so you’re telling me that I have the ability to heal…? I just find that difficult to imagine, with my condition…which you haven’t healed.”

Little James, in case the audience is not aware (and I don’t blame them because I had no idea until the writers had Thomas point it out in Season 2, Episode 3), has a limp.

(In real life, the actor who portrays Little James, Jordan Walker Ross, actually does have cerebral palsy, which the writers decided to incorporate into the script in this way, as you shall soon see…)

“Do you want to be healed?” Jesus asks.

“Y-yes, of course, if that’s possible,” Little James says.

“I think you’ve seen enough to know that that’s possible,” Jesus says.

Little James pauses, processing this. Then: “Why haven’t you?”

“Because I trust you,” Jesus replies.

Jesus explains: While Jesus can heal Little James, as he’s healed many others, and that would be “a good story to tell.” But there are already many who can tell that story.

Little James, however, will have a unique story when he learns to still praise God in spite of his disability, and focus on things that matter more than the body. To demonstrate patience in suffering on Earth because he knows that he will spend eternity with no suffering.

“Not many can understand that,” Jesus says. “How many do you think the father and I trust with this? Not many.”

Little James begins to cry. “But the others are so much more!”

“More what?” Jesus asks gently.

“I don’t know…stronger? Better than this?”

Little James quotes the Psalmist: I know that I am ‘fearfully and wonderfully made’ he says. But that doesn’t make it easier to deal with this burden. (See Psalm 139:14)

A burden? Jesus echoes. It’s easier to deal with your slow walking than Simon’s temper, trust me. The Father doesn’t care how he looks or how he walks.

“You are going to do more for me than most people ever dreamed.

“So many people need healing in order to believe in me…that doesn’t apply to you.

“And many are healed or not healed because the Father has a plan for them which…may be a mystery. We remember what Job said:

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away…

Little James joins Jesus as the two finish the verse:

Blessed be the name of the Lord. (See: Job 1:21)

Jesus tells Little James:

“When you find true strength because of your weakness, and when you do great things in spite of this, the impact will last for generations. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” James says through his tears. “Thank you, Master.”

“And James, remember. You will be healed,” Jesus says. “It’s only a matter of time.”

Trusting God no matter what comes our way especially in the answers that are vastly different from our petition-that is when people will sit up and take notice. Can I praise God when the answer is ‘no’?

Who You'd Be Today

As I sit here tonight thoughts of the phone call we would be receiving 12 years ago tomorrow morning are swirling through my head. “You and John need to get down here now.” I called back with a dread and said, “Is it?” And Tom said-“yes”! I remember saying, “Clear the house!” We needed a minute to process and didn’t need an audience. It was a gracious group of ladies- military ladies that had come to serve breakfast. They understood and were gone in 30 seconds!

And then it was to receive the news in a formal way. The hope for having James physically back was gone. As painful and heartbreaking as it was with a solid faith foundation I can’t even process how I could do this without the Lord. How can you believe that you simply-“live, you die, the end”. How could I turn away from God or call into question His existence?

Reading this post I shared a few years ago just the other day, I knew I needed to share it again. We need a word of hope in our pit of despair. After 12 years it’s still painful and at times hard to believe! We must trust a Plan we will never understand on this side. And our grief will look different over time but grief never fully dissolves. Honestly, I wouldn’t want it to because I believe when grief is fully gone passion diminishes as well. These words are from Max Lucado.

“Not everyone understands your grief. They did at first. They did at the funeral. They did at the graveside. But they don’t now. They don’t understand. Grief lingers…

You buried more than a person. You buried some of yourself. A dream died. You are dealing with unlived tomorrows…you are battling disappointment. You’re also battling anger. Anger lives in sorrow’s house.

Anger takes the form of a three letter question- why? Why him? Why her? Why now? Only God knows the reasons behind the actions. A truth on which we can stand is this:

‘Our God is a Good God.’

But how can death be good? When the quantity of years has outstripped the quality of years we don’t ask how death can be good

But the father of the dead teenager does. The thirty one year old widow does. The mom who never got to take her baby home from the hospital does. How could death be good?

Part of the answer is found in Isaiah 57:1-2. ‘Good people are taken away and no one understands. Those who do right are taken away from evil and are given peace. Those who live as God wants find rest in death.’”

I have clung to this verse since early in the search for James. Psalm 139:16-‘All the days planned for me were written in your book before I was one day old…’

Grief comes to all of us. We can’t control that but we can control 💯% our response. We continue to trust God with all of the story not just the parts we like and by doing that we see that Our God is a Good Father. I do wonder, if he were here at age 29- what would James be doing today?

Hey Guys, This is James

“Hey guys, this is James.” That’s how James began his voicemail message. Tammy and I have been blessed to share his story and legacy a number of times since 2011. Today marks 12 years since we lost James. The first night there, Sheriff Chris Prine said, “We’re not leaving until we find him.” At that point, I think everyone anticipated James would be found quickly. After a few days, however, we realized it would not be a quick process. At that point, someone told us we should bring pictures of James to the clubhouse at Ocean Pond. This allowed the search teams to see who they were searching for. Without using words, we were effectively saying, “Hey guys, this is James.” A few days later, Jessica Watson, a friend of James from Lowndes High School came down to Ocean Pond with a poster she and the graphic arts teacher from Lowndes had put together. It was a profile picture of James with the Bible verse Mark 9: 23, “As far as possibilities go, EVERYTHING is possible for the person who believes.”

We put one poster in the front room of the clubhouse along with the photos. I think Barbara Grondahl recommended putting one down in the command center where the search teams gathered and planned the day’s search efforts. It provided another opportunity to say, “Hey guys, this is James.”

As the days moved forward we were blessed with so many of James’ friends and teachers sharing stories about James, effectively telling us, “Hey guys, this is James.” We heard stories from Coach Ashley Henderson who told us, “I was known as being friendly when I was in high school, but James was a friend.” Coach Bart Shuman would tell us, “James didn’t have a group. Everyone was his group.” We received similar stories from so many others. “Hey guys, this is James.” Several days in, somebody made us aware of the words James had written in The Clock is Ticking that started with “Take time to love someone.” 219 words that tell you everything you need to know about how to live your life. Lisa Colburn, Tracy Jones, Tracy Gill and Stacy Joye created the t-shirts that soon bore those words. James Daniel printed a poster with James’s picture from his football Senior Night and the words to The Clock is Ticking that joined the other pictures in the front room. “Hey guys, this is James.” The story didn’t end like we wanted it to. James was recovered on the morning of January 31st and we held his celebration service on February 5th. We thought James’ story was over. But God. God continued to bring stories to us. Stories like the student who had James’ senior homeroom teacher that next year who frequently talked about James. She asked the student if they knew James, to which they replied, “No ma’am. I only met him once. I was having the absolute worst day of my life and walking down the hall between classes. James was running down the hall the other way. He saw me, stopped running and crossed the hall to tell me, “Whatever it is, God can handle it.” That was my only encounter with him.” “Hey guys, this is James.”

One year after losing James, over 100 people gathered at Ocean Pond to remember James. Jason Murphy, one of James’ best friends said, “He knew he could make a difference in everyone’s life just by being that one guy that makes the nerd’s day by saying hey with that wonderful smile of his or the guy who makes a girl feel as beautiful as she looks just by saying a few encouraging words. He showed his love for God by showing unconditional love to his neighbors. James had the kind of love for everyone that you read about in the Bible.”

We continue to move forward with James’ story as God continues to bring stories and experiences to us. Dick Yarbrough wrote about the experience. The Athens Banner Herald wrote about James. Joe Vitale from UGA Wire wrote about James. Scholarship applicants for his scholarship write about James. Stories about James’ picture on their mirror for 10 years after hearing his story for the first time. Stories from a young lady in a sorority at Valdosta State who had James’ picture on her mirror and her friends asking her who the cute guy was. She then shared James’ story with them. All as if to tell us, “Hey guys, this is James.”

I worked for Brad Head for the two years before he retired this past summer. Tammy and I attended his change of command ceremony. He had told me he would be mentioning James in his words for the ceremony. He introduced the story and led into events on the first day of the search to share about his boss, Colonel Russ “Bones” Cook. Brad shared that Bones was the aircraft commander of the first helicopter on site that first night. He said as they were preparing to depart, Bones’ co-pilot said words to the effect of “we can’t go yet. I don’t have the paperwork complete.” Bones replied with words (and I’m paraphrasing), “you can stay here and finish the paperwork. I’m going to find that young man.” Brad wanted all to understand the type of leader he was blessed to work for. Tammy and I didn’t know this story, but I asked Bones if he would share some of his memories from those 17 days. He would share that the combat rescue officer on board that night was Mike Vines, now the commander of the 38th Rescue Squadron. Mike has swum in the TCT7 Swim the past two years to honor James. Both of these men, along with all of the search teams, are heroes to us. I asked if I could get a picture with them this week, and they made time to do that. I shared that this Sunday would be 12 years, to which Bones replied, “I keep James’ card and picture on my computer.” “Hey guys, this is James.”

The day after the picture we started our day of giving and began at Second Harvest with our friend, Franklin Richards. His oldest son, Noah, was also there. Noah was a 2018 James Eunice Legacy Scholarship recipient. Noah recently had surgery, and his parents shared that before the surgery the nurses told Noah he had to remove all jewelry. He was wearing one of James’ bracelets and Noah told them he never took it off and then shared James’ story with the medical staff preparing to perform his surgery.

I mentioned Coach Mark Richt earlier. He spoke at an event for James in February 2012. Joe Vitale wrote about the event several years later, and included Coach Richt’s words from that night. Joe wrote, “(James) was special,” Richt said. “He is worthy of this kind of event. He was all about people coming to know Jesus Christ. That is his legacy. His legacy is not what a great kid he was, which he was, it’s not how friendly he was to so and so. The legacy is, he was making a difference in someone’s life.” Joe closed the article with the words, “his legacy continues to lift the spirit and invest in others. A Dawg forever.” “Hey guys, this is James.”

We look back today, still in disbelief that James is not with us. But also marvel that all God has done and continues to do through James’ life and legacy. We marvel at the stories we learned during those 17 days about a young man we thought we knew so well, about the impact he made, about the depth of his faith. We don’t like the story, but we don’t have to. James wrote in The Clock is Ticking, “Keep your faith in Him.” That has been so vital on this journey. Nicholas Wolterstorff wrote the book Lament for a Son detailing his thoughts about the loss of his own son. He wrote, “I will not look away. I will indeed remind myself that there’s more to life than pain. I will accept joy. But I will not look away from his death. I owe that to him and to God.” He describes faith perfectly when he says, “Faith is the footbridge that you don’t know will hold you up over the chasm until you’re forced to walk onto it.”

We’ll be sad today and reflect, but we’ll also rejoice. Not because James is gone, but because he lived and because God blessed us to spend 17 years with him. We love him. We miss him daily. And we’re so very thankful for the stories that remind us, “Hey guys, this is James.”