John travelled to the Middle East frequently during his last two years in the military. He loved the hand made rugs that were sold in the shops there. They came from all over the region, and he bought a few to bring home. They were beautifully woven by hand, taking weeks to prepare. John would talk about some of the larger rugs in the shops that took months to produce, and then there were the rugs in some of larger buildings across the region. Some of these tapestries took over a year to make. Our lives are like these hand made rugs, these tapestries. The stories, like the tapestries, are woven by hand using many threads. Some develop quickly and are over in an instant, while others may take years to develop and come together.
I believe that each life is comprised of many tapestries. We have had so many tapestries since January 15th, 2011, some developing quickly, others taking much longer, some still in the making, and others yet to come. I’m fascinated by them all, and some just defy logic, like today’s note. It took six and a half years to develop.
I’ve had many low points during these six and a half years, and have struggled through many discouraging moments. Sadness envelopes me during these times and I ask the Lord to show me this story matters because, as much as I know it does, the enemy wants me to believe it was random, with no purpose, and no long lasting imprint on others.
This will be one of the longest notes I've ever written because there are multiple people who play a part in this story. I've had all the threads for a month but every time I sat down to write it I got overwhelmed but this time I believe I can get the thoughts from my head and heart into written word so it will be clear that God's Hand is in this story.
When the 17 day search for James was going on I prayed for clear headedness, focus, and a desire to keep all things. Somehow I knew I would need every single thing, I just wasn't sure how I would need it. To borrow from Aerosmith, “I don’t want to miss a thing.”
We received many letters from people we didn't know. I tried to keep everything. Special letters were reserved in a notebook that in my mind were labeled, "Not sure what to do with this but I know I need to save it.”
Missy Norris’ letter was one of those. She lives in Live Oak, FL. She wrote it on February 8th, 2011, 3 days after James' celebration of life service. Three pictures of her beautiful 19 year old son were across the top of the letter. She talked about her son in her letter and described how many ways we were connected. I've taken this letter out of this prized notebook and read it many times. I tried to find her several times on Facebook but to no avail. The timing was never right. I kept getting the message, “not yet!” Here is what she wrote about her boy, David.
"Randy David Norris
February 8, 2011
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Eunice ,
Please forgive me if I am taking too much liberty in sending this letter. You do not know me. I live in Live Oak, Florida. I became aware of your tragic loss when James went missing. My heart is broken for your family and I am so sorry for your loss.
My husband and I lost our 19 year old son, David, in December of 2005 in the Suwannee River. He had just graduated from high school the previous May. After exhausting all other means of finding David, Judy Thigpen brought her dogs to the river and ultimately located his body. She has shared with me that she also aided in the search for James.
I was so grateful to see what strong faith James had and what a great testimony he continues to share even through his death. There are so many similarities between our boys. Basketball was David's sport and "23" was his number. He was tall and lean, with blonde hair and loved to have fun and make people smile. David loved the Lord and was active in his youth group at church. He too, enjoyed outdoor activities such as hunting and fishing. David was the oldest of our three children. Our daughter is now 22 and our youngest son is 17 (a senior in high school). We miss him terribly but look forward to seeing him again one day in heaven.
We are reassured that David is with our Lord Jesus Christ because of the personal relationship he had with HIM as I know you are about James.
I pray for comfort and peace for you during the loss of your sweet boy. The pain and hurt is truly intense at times as is the joy in knowing where they are. No one can relate what you will experience as you start this journey of grief. There are so many emotions and feelings ahead. Please know there are others out here who relate and somewhat understand what you are going through.
Respectfully,
Missy Norris
Missy included her address, but no phone number.
Other than trying to find Missy on Facebook, I never did anything else to connect. It didn’t help that I kept trying to find Missy North, instead of Missy Norris. I realize now, I wasn't supposed to find her immediately, because this had to be bigger than two grieving parents connecting. This was the handiwork of the Master Designer and I needed to be reminded of that fact.
Fast forward six and a half years. My good friend Becky Deas, who runs Options Now here in Valdosta, and who has become a part of our lives since we lost James, invited me to speak on two separate occasions at Burnham Christian Church in Jennings, Florida. Through meeting several people at those two opportunities, I was connected with a private Christian school in Jasper, Florida and invited to share our message of legacy earlier this year. As I soon discovered, this was a few years in the making. Simply another example of God saying, “not yet.” The timing had to be right in order for all the pieces to fit.
Corinth Christian Academy is a small school, with only nine seniors, but they were an amazing group of young people! The 9th-12th graders were a part of the assembly, and were all very respectful and attentive. After speaking that day, I felt the need to tell the administrator about James’ scholarship, and that we would accept applications from any of the seniors that were going to a college, university, or technical school. Two seniors applied, one young man and one young woman. Both were exceptional students with big dreams and extremely bright futures ahead of them.
As the beginning of April arrived, we began receiving scholarship applications. This year was our biggest pool of applications, with over 190 students from over 20 schools applying for James’ scholarship. Our six person committee had difficult decisions to make, and eventually awarded 85 scholarships to students from 19 different schools. The two from Corinth Christian Academy were two of the 85 chosen.
As part of the application, we include a copy of “The Clock is Ticking.” We ask the applicants to read it and ask them to write a few words about how these words speak to them. The essays were amazing, and you come to realize the challenges so many of these young people have overcome to graduate and take the next step in their educational journeys. But every year there are always a handful of applications that stand out. That was true again this year.
Ben Godwin was one of the two recipients from Corinth. I read his essay several times. When I finished, I put it back with the rest of the essays, but I knew there was something about his note. A seed had been planted that was going to yield a tremendous harvest of blessings.
As I woke on the morning of June 13th, I was a little blue. June 13th begins a four day stretch for our family with highs and lows. The 13th is my mama's birthday, and the 14th is Lindsey's. We lost my mama on the 15th, and James’ birthday is the 16th. It’s tough stretch, but God always provides. On top of everything else I had chosen to begin a Bible study with a small group of ladies on ‘Spiritual Warfare,’ and they were due within the hour. As I began pulling myself together and choosing to find joy despite the pain I was feeling the Lord speak to me in a clear voice, "Read the letter again from Ben Godwin."
I knew exactly where the letter was located so I pulled it out and with hope I began reading it, still feeling a little confused as to why I needed to read it again. As soon as I read the second paragraph I could not believe what I was reading, but I knew why God had told me to read the letter again. As soon as I began reading Ben’s essay, the part that the Lord was showing specifically to me jumped out to me.
Ben wrote, “James Eunice’s essay, ‘The Clock Is Ticking,’ really hit home with me for several reasons. People usually think that teenagers do not have much experience with death or loss, but that is not always true, and it isn’t true for me. In the loss of a friend, a grandparent and in the loss of a dream to play baseball, I have learned that no matter the plans or dreams, tomorrow is never promised. Our only real choice is to live life to its fullest and make the greatest difference we can while we are here.
My first experience with death came when I was six years old. My parents’ closest friends lost their nineteen-year old so in a drowning accident on New Year’s Eve. I don’t ever remember life without David. I was six and he was nineteen, but in my mind, he was my best friend. One would think that at six, I wouldn’t remember a lot about David or his death, but I can remember it vividly. Two things stick out for me about David and his death—One was the way David made me feel and the other is something my parents told my siblings and me when we didn’t understand why God would allow it to happen. My parents explained that David didn’t die a second too soon or a second too late, that God had ordained his life and his days before he was ever born. That was hard for me to understand at six years old, but it has stayed with me and now that I am older, it gives me peace to know that we serve a God who is bigger than us and in control of all things…”
I stood there in stunned silence. Surely this couldn’t be the same David that Missy, the mom from Live Oak, had written to me about 6 ½ years ago.
I only had a few minutes before my Bible Study group would begin to arrive, so I looked at the name on the letter and I am still reading her name as Missy North. I looked for her name on Facebook and again, there was no Missy North. I prayed, “Lord, What am I supposed to do?” Almost as quickly as I had petitioned I felt the nudge to reach out to Ben’s mom, Karen Godwin, and see if somehow these two stories spaced 6 ½ years apart had any connection.
I sent Karen a note on Facebook, and asked her about the young man Ben wrote about and if she knew a Missy North. She replied, “Hey! The young man he wrote about was David Norris, and they are from Live Oak, Fl. You used the name North, so I'm not sure if that's the same person or if the name got confused somehow. The mom's name of the David Ben spoke of is Missy Norris.” Karen also gave me Missy’s phone number.
As soon as we finished the lesson and the last person left, I called Missy. I didn’t know what I was going to say. I thought she would think I was crazy calling her so many years after she reached out to me. The call went straight to voice mail, so I hung up and was going to send her a text when a call came in from Missy.
I said, “Missy, this is Tammy Eunice. You probably don’t remember me,” and she said, “Oh yes, I remember you!” In that moment we became kindred spirits. I told her how many times I had read the letter she sent to us and how I had tried to find her unsuccessfully on Facebook. We talked about her David and we spoke of my James. I told her I was going to send her a picture of the letter she wrote to me and the letter Ben wrote to apply for James’ scholarship. She was elated and overjoyed! We both were! She said if you are ever speaking near by I want to come and hear you. I didn’t have anything on the calendar as far as speaking but I told her we would be at Sam’s Club for James Eunice Day on that Saturday, the 17th. She said, “Well this just keeps getting better! I am going to be in Valdosta on Saturday and the reason I didn’t answer when you called a few minutes ago was I was finalizing the plans with my friend. I told her that we would meet at Austin’s, but I had to make my Sam’s run first.”
For a few moments we just sat in complete silence. This isn’t something you could orchestrate on your own. God’s fingerprints were all over this incredible story. We finished up talking and I wrote Karen, Ben’s mom, back to tell her what had transpired. Her response truly blessed my heart.
Karen said, “I, too, am amazed at how God brings people together, and I am in tears as I read Missy’s letter to you. When you visited the school, I was struck by the similarities between James and David, their sweet smiles, blonde hair and blue eyes, their love for people, right down to the number 23, but I have never mentioned James' to her at all. I never even shared with her that Ben received the scholarship, though I am sure she saw it on FB. David's parents are our dearest friends, more like family… My husband spoke at his funeral, and though David wasn't ours, our lives were forever impacted by losing him. It's something I can't explain. As I said, David, like James, seemed to have a "larger than life" personality and exhibited a joy in living that not a lot of young people have. All of this amazes me, because I have thought much about the similarity between the two situations and much about how Ben's life has been impacted by both young men. I did read Ben's essay and I am certain he wouldn't mind at all if you write about it. I am also amazed at how God has impacted my life by the testimony of two moms who have dealt with what you have. You nor Missy can imagine the impact of how you have allowed God to work in your loss. I'm sorry if I am rambling...I am amazed at how God works. You will love her. I am glad she plans to come to your next visit to the school. Funny thing is that I started to invite her to meet you this last time but then decided against it. I, too, am thankful for the family of God and even more so for a sovereign God who's timing is perfect.”
I met my friend Shirley Davis later for coffee and told her this story. I told her I just couldn’t understand why, after 6 ½ years, I still had the name wrong. Her response to me was priceless!
She simply said: “The name had to be wrong until the year was right!” What a true and accurate statement!
I thought about how many threads were in this one story but I couldn’t remember exactly how I even ended up going to Corinth Christian Academy. I had spoken at a church in Jennings and talked to several people there but I just couldn’t put it all together. So I went back and messaged Karen, Ben’s mom, again.
Karen quickly wrote me back with this response:
“ Sue Cox and I have wanted you to come speak to our students for a couple of years now, but it just always seemed like the year flew by before we did anything. Then, one of our teachers, Darlene Herndon, asked about having you speak at a ladies’ luncheon for those associated the school, but again, the timing didn't work out. Sue sent you a message about scheduling something, and immediately after, Valerie Goolsby came and asked what we thought about having you. I'm not sure I can completely express my thoughts about all of it either for several reasons, not the least of which is how the timing of your coming influenced how Ben was impacted. If you had come a couple of years earlier, he wouldn't have been a senior and wouldn't have been as quick to listen. Nor would he have been old enough to apply for the scholarship and write an essay including David.”
Donna Tomlinson, James’ English teacher for all three years at Valdosta had James’ class write a letter to themselves when they were in 10th grade, and she would mail it to them in five years. James wrote, “As I ponder the difference between now and five years, I cannot help but think of all the different things that will be available to our advantage and the new variety of people that will have entered my life.” James could have been writing the story about me. This entire story took six years to make, but only about 5 hours to finally come together. I’ve been working on it for a month. Every time I would try to write it, the magnitude of this one story absolutely overwhelmed me and I just couldn’t do it. I believe the Lord wanted me to really marinate on how deliberately HE works. I have cried over this story, tears of joy of course, and I have laughed at the fact that I had a simple last name wrong for over 6 years. But my friend Shirley was right when she said, “The name had to be wrong until the year was right!” I’m so thankful the year was finally right.
For everyone involved, including Missy, God showed His design and his timing in order to get the glory, praise and honor. As I finish this note up I breathe a sigh of relief and thank God for the tapestry He continues to design carefully and beautifully to remind me that I can always trust HIM.
In closing I want to share what Missy posted about this story on her Facebook page. She posted a picture of her beautiful son and around 2 p.m. on June 13th, 2017, she said this:
“Even after 12 years God can weave together relationships and use a total stranger to remind me why my son was put on this earth and why he was called to a higher purpose!
Until we meet again my sweet boy!”
And to that I say, Amen!
